Highly successful people get as far as they are because they are ambitious, hardworking, and decisive. But for many, there is more to the story. They also experience feelings of constant anxiety, self-doubt, and a desire to prove themselves again and again.
IMPOSTER SYNDROME IN HIGHLY SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE
Feelings that undermine a person’s sense of achievement are known as Imposter Syndrome.
Imposter syndrome is common among high-achievers, though it may seem counterintuitive. These people feel like their accomplishments are never good enough, no matter how much recognition and acclaim they garner. They start to view their achievements as coincidental or ‘lucky’– not the deserved result of hard work. They fear being exposed as a fraud and losing the things they’ve worked so hard for.
On the outside, they seem driven to bend the world to their will. Internally, they feel inadequate, insecure, and unlovable.
This internal narrative can lead to substance use or other behavioral issues to cope with Imposter’s Syndrome’s heavy emotional toll. That’s why it’s essential to address Imposter Syndrome in substance use disorder treatment in order to be successful.
STRUGGLING TO SUSTAIN METEORIC SUCCESS
The drive to prove oneself and a long list of accomplishments is usually seen as a positive quality. However, Imposter Syndrome subverts all of that. Over time, it eats away at the ability to feel pride and contentment. To illustrate the insidiousness of this condition, I can share some examples from my own work.
One of my clients was a young CEO of a family business. His father had mismanaged the business, leaving his son with the burden to clean up the mess. The son managed to make a full recovery and even expand the business, saving the family fortune.
He was his parent's only child and had always been told he was the hope of the next generation. He lived up to the expectation, but not without cost. As the primary source of income for the family, he was under intense pressure to keep up a breakneck pace in order to continue providing support. Unsure that he could sustain it alone, so he started taking stimulants. This led to dependency, which had negative effects on his marriage and other aspects of his life.
COPING WITH THE EMOTIONAL DEVASTATION OF FAILURE
Another CEO, the head of a publicly-traded company, struggled when her career stalled. Her story demonstrates the pervasive and damaging messages we learn from our families of origin, and how those manifest later in life.
Her older sister was the golden child, destined for greatness. She became world-renowned in her field but passed away at a young age. My client struggled to fill her shoes, having come into the position at a difficult time in the company’s (and family’s) history.
She worked hard to maintain the company’s success, but a recession hit and she was forced to lay off hundreds of people. She felt like she let down her employees who depended on her, and at a fundamental level, she was still trying to prove she was worthy, even though her parents were no longer alive. To cope with these intense emotions, she began to drink alcohol before each meeting. As she became more dependent on alcohol, it began to take a toll on other areas of her life.
These stories have a positive ending, as both of these people sought treatment and were successful in recovery.
When treating Imposter Syndrome, we use various modalities addressing past trauma and behavioral changes, as well as the unconscious adoption of the thoughts or traits of others as their own (their introject). Examining their lived experiences can help them to develop a kinder and more compassionate self-narrative and healthy coping skills that enable them to move forward in a productive way.
THE IMPORTANCE OF FAMILY IN TREATMENT
The compulsion to achieve is learned behavior, often from the patient’s family of origin. Somehow the child learned that love and attention are earned by achieving goals. Their parents may also have been high-achieving, or they may have been constantly compared to high-achieving siblings. Experiences like these can foster the feelings that enable Imposter Syndrome, even if the person is wildly successful by all other standards.
Because Imposter Syndrome and Substance Use Disorder are so bound up in the family of origin, it is important to include the family in any treatment plan. In order to support the recovery process, the family needs to look inward and be accountable for their part in the cycle of dysfunction.
If one person resists and the rest of the family becomes well, the resister is either going to separate themselves from the family, or they are going to become well too. Most people don’t want to walk away from their families unless they’ve experienced something devastating and need to isolate for self-preservation.
THE ROLE THAT FAMILY OF CHOICE CAN PLAY
When the family of origin is uncooperative or out of the picture, families of choice can make a real difference for those experiencing Imposter Syndrome.
We create a family of choice when we choose partners and friends who can provide positive support and meet our emotional needs in ways that the family of origin could not. We create our own support system and develop a corrective experience around the dysfunction encountered as a child.
When family and patient are aligned, they can close the chapter on the fear and insecurity so they can experience the fulfillment and happiness that comes from embracing their authentic self.
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